By Celeste Fremon | November Good Housekeeping
Thanks D. for the transcript

When Patricia Heaton, 44, first read for the part of Debra, the wife on the CBS megahit comedy, Everybody Loves Raymond, she was scared to death- but not because she desperately needed the work. With a toddler and a new baby at home, Heaton was dependent on her baby-sitter, who had to leave that day at three p.m. sharp. "The audition was at two, about ten minutes from my house," explains Heaton.

So I figured I'd get in, get out, and get back just in time." But as it turned out, star Ray Romano, the show's producer, and the director chatted her up for what seemed an eternity. Most people would have basked in the attention. Not Heaton. "I started to freak out," she says.

The actress shoved the executives through the remainder of the meeting, then drove "like a crazy woman" to get home in time. "When you're a mother, you never want to incur the wrath of our baby-sitter," she says sagely.

Since that breakneck audition in 1996, she has won two Emmy awards for playing Debra, and has had two more children with her husband, British writer-actor David Hunt. She's also written a book, Motherhood and Hollywood, which amusingly chronicles her continuing struggle to balance the demands of acting and parenting.

In person and in print, Heaton is smart, funny, and down-to-earth, though yet vulnerable. In fact, her life is filled with contradictions. She is constantly trying to keep her brood of boys-Sam, nine, John, seven, Joe, five, and Daniel, three-away from Hollywood excess, and plans to have them volunteer (when they're old enough) at a Mexican orphanage where she has worked in the past.

At the same time, Heaton unabashedly describes how she's undergone a couple of rounds of cosmetic surgery, which makes her look better in her awards-show dresses. "Now that I've had the tummy tuck and the breast lift, I can just throw something on and not have to worry about underwear at all," she declares. "It's great!"

As a Catholic schoolgirl growing up in Cleveland, Heaton didn't know much about glitz and glamour. Her father was a well-regarded but not terribly well-paid sportswriter for The Plain Dealer. Heaton's mother, a former writer, stayed home to raise their five children. "Let's just say there wasn't a lot of clothes buying," Heaton says.

One morning, when Heaton was just 12, her mom waved her off to school, saying "See you at lunch-time." But when Heaton got home, her mother had been rushed to the hospital with a brain aneurysm. She died before her young daughter was able to see her again.

Heaton insists that her father did a heroic job of raising his kids. Still, adolescence was tough. She remembers a particular night during her freshman year in high school: "I was going to a mixer, which is what we used to call the dances," she recalls, "and I realized I had gotten my period for the first time." Heaton turned for help to her older sister, a shy girl who would eventually become a nun. The sister handed her a thick pad without much explanation. "So I didn't learn to use a tampon for another year," says Heaton with a shrug. "But it didn't keep me from going to the mixer.

After college, Heaton moved to New York City. Her first seven years there included a short-lived marriage, a seemingly endless series of "survival" jobs, and precious little acting work-all of which led to a debilitating depression.

"The worst," says Heaton, "was when I was sitting in the bathroom wondering if you could slit your wrists with a Bic disposable razor ¨C you know, those little blue items you get six in a pack? The answer is, you can't." What ultimately saved her, she says, was her Catholic faith ¨C and her ego. "I thought, it'd really be a waste if I died now, because if I ever do get an acting job, I'm sure I'll be able to use this dramatically."

Now that her life is together, is there anything she still wants? "I'd like more time with the kids," she says wistfully. "They're growing up so fast." Then she flashes a wicked grin. "I also want new hair. There's this lady at my salon, and the top of her hair is blond and chopped short, but the sides are black. When Raymond is over, I want that!"